Windows can be confusing for first-time visitors. They have handles and they will open either by tipping inward from the bottom or by swinging inward from the side. Fortunately, there seem to be only two main types of window systems. But since Germans have been inventing things since the Neanderthal Man, you may encounter one of the several more rare types too. So, as a rule of thumb, twist the handle all the way up to tip it, halfway to swing it and down to lock it closed. (Also, another good rule of thumb is to keep your thumb out of the way when you mess with the windows.) If you are working with slightly older windows, you will notice a foot-long lever in one bottom corner of the window. That type of window will tilt out if the lever is pointed up, or open into the room if the lever is parallel with the bottom of the window.

You are not done yet. Many windows also have rollups or Jalousien. These are plastic shutters that roll down from outside the window. This is both for security and for privacy. It works by pulling a cord or strap along side of the opening. Some Jalousien are operated by an electric switch but most are manual. If you do not let them all the way down, they will allow some light through small holes between the slats. If you let them down so that the slats stack tightly on top of one another, you have created a darkroom. If the building is really old, there could be working shutters on the outside of the window. To operate these windows, open them, lean out, unhook the shutter (a few different schemes here too), draw them closed, and latch them. Simple? Yes, for a mechanical engineer who has German genes.

Doors are easier but the locks are a marvel. I don’t know if locks were invented in Germany but they were certainly taken to an art form. There are as many different locking systems as there are types of beer. In one hotel in Berlin, we were given a key that had a skeleton on both ends. The keyhole in the lock was perpendicular to the floor (this is unusual). To unlock the door, you inserted the key in the slot part of the keyhole and twisted it vertical . Now you can open the door. So far, it sounds pretty normal -- but you can't pull your key back out. The next step is to push the key completely through the hole to the other side of the door, close the door (after putting your body on the other side too), twist the key to the horizontal slot position and extract the key. Without closing and locking the door, you can't retrieve the key. An almost fool proof way of keeping doors closed and locked at all times. People who try to invent foolproof things should interview me first - they will come to realize that it may be impossible.

Toilets:

An important thing to know about toilets in Europe is that some of them cost money. Not like the pay toilets in America, although those exist too, but in some restrooms, you will find a person sitting at a table with a dish on it. You are expected to put about € 0.20 in the dish or on the tray. These people probably do not speak English and may not even speak German. In some cases, the woman at the table is in full view of the stalls and/or urinals. This is a cultural thing you have to get used to. In fact, many times the public has much more view into the restrooms than Americans are used to. But, if you have to go, go. Nobody will hold it against you, I hope.

An American tourist cannot discuss the subject of toilets without discussing the toilet paper. Yes, they do have American style toilet paper in Germany and the 4-star and 5-star hotels have it. No, you will not experience much discomfort with German toilet paper. Yes, German toilet paper resembles either sandpaper or a blotter (if your lucky, you get the blotter kind). No, you don't have to carry your own toilet paper. Yes, Germans use it themselves. Yes, there is a reason, toilet paper is cheaper and more efficient - think about it. How many sheets do you normally use in America? If you use that many sheets of German toilet paper, you'll probably hurt yourself. Secondly, Americans don't have any way to recycle sandpaper, it ends up in landfills. In Germany, it eventually ends up in sewage treatment plants. Anyway that's my theory. My wife thinks I'm a little over the top on this one.

Electricity:

Electricity is not only higher voltage but at a different frequency. 250 volts and 50 cycles are typical in Europe while in North America we normally use only 110 volts and always have 60 cycles. If you have a transformer, some electric appliances work just fine, like an electric razor or a hair dryer. However, clocks and electronic equipment probably will not. Some laptop computers, like the one I am using to write this, operate on both systems but check with the manufacturer first. (As a last resort, read the owner’s destruction manual.)

Table Manners:

People not used to American manners may still judge American's to be impolite because the European table manners are quite different. Europeans typically keep both hands on the table. (Sorry, elbows are impolite everywhere.) They never put their hands in their laps except to grab the napkin there. They eat with the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right. The fork may be turned upside down (from our American perspective) to acquire a bite off the plate and placed in your mouth still upside down. You may even use your knife to add other bits to the top of the upside down fork with the first bite still attached to the tines. Of course, you can turn the fork over and use it as Americans do too. But don't put your hands in your lap - if you want to rest, rest your hand on the edge of the table. Folks wonder what in the world you are doing with the hand they cannot see if you have it on your lap. Don’t tell them either.

If you are not finished but want to set your knife and or fork down, say to rest during an especially good meal of Rouladen, set them down with the handles pointing to the left and right of the plate (4 o’clock and 8 o’clock). Lastly, when finished, place both knife and fork together on the plate with the handles parallel and pointing to the right (3 o’clock or so). That signals to the wait staff, your host, or hostess, that they may take your plate. And sometimes they will.

The big hot meal is usually at noon. The evening meal is frequently bread and cold cuts called Kaltteller or Brotteller. The normal process is to display the Wursts and cheeses on a plate or a wooden breadboard, then provide a basket of breads. Most Americans from the Mid-West (like me, for example) see this as an invitation to create a Dagwood sandwich. Wrong! Its impolite I discovered. Simply take one type of Wurst (or cheese) and put it on the bread. You are creating an open faced sandwich. Then cut it into bite sized pieces one bite at a time with your knife and fork. The best advice is to watch the locals and eat like they do. I have learned that this type of food is tasty and I look forward to Abentessen (the evening meal) with relish. (Hmm ... poor choice of adjectives - relish is something for Bratwurst.)

Beds:

Some people warm immediately to the German beds. Pun intended. Typically, they are single beds, or at least single bed mattresses next to one another in a double bed frame. In hotels, the linen may be stark white although colors are becoming more popular. The sheets sometimes even feel as though they have been starched but that comes from ironing them while they are still damp from the washing. And, the wonderful thing is the feather comforters with duvet covers instead of blankets and bedspreads. During hot weather, you may find a lightweight quilt encased in a duvet cover. It may take some getting used to but it is a luxurious way of sleeping.

Streetcars and Tickets:

You may not ride a streetcar or Strassenbahn without a ticket. If you do, you may get away with it because they don’t check every car every stop. But, if you are checked and have no ticket, you have not only committed a crime of petty theft, you have violated a system based on trust. They will not look upon the transgression kindly. You will certainly have to pay a fine (perhaps about € 30) and you may be taken to the local constabulary to do so. Not fun, I imagine.

Buying Strassenbahn tickets may be a challenge. You can find them in almost every major Bahnhof, but you may have to ask for the location of the sales office. If you are not near a Bahnhof, you might have to find a ticket agency. They can be located major department stores or in a government office but the easiest place is usually a news and tobacco kiosk. As a last resort, you can buy a ticket from the driver or if there is an automat inside the street car, you can buy one there. The downside to last second purchases is the cost may be 30 to 50% more. Every region has its own ticket system and the tickets from one system or area are not useful in another region. Consider purchasing several tickets (say five or ten). I don’t think you can return any unused tickets though.

When you get on, simply slip the ticket into a machine that stamps the ticket with the date, time, and direction of travel. The streetcars and buses are normally interlinked. A ticket on one is good on the other until your have reached your destination and until you change directions (as in case you passed up your destination by mistake). You’ll need a second ticket for the trip back if you change directions of travel. This system is sometimes applicable to certain types of commuter trains too, by the way.

Phone Cards:

Here you are in for a treat. At airports, train stations (Bahnhöfe), post offices, etc. you can purchase phone cards. About half of the telephone booths will only take phone cards, they will not take coins. A second half only takes coins, not phone cards. And a third half will take both types of payment. It may not matter much in the future because the number of public pay phones is rapidly diminishing due to the increase use of cell phones or as the Germans call them, "Handies" (a Denglish word).

In the last few years, pre-paid phone cards have become popular for cell phone users. This card is called a "phone card." It is distinguished from the type of pre-paid card that one uses to insert into a public telephone which, by contrast, is called a "phone card." Get it? I don't! With all the words in Deutsch, English and Denglish, why can't they come up with some different names? The lesson to be learned, is to carefully specify which type of card you want. In German, you could say, "Öffentliche Telefonkarte, nicht für Handies." That is you could - if you know how to pronounce the umlauts. For a short course on umlauts, see Words and Phrases.

Schrebergärten:

You may notice many areas in Germany that have been divided into small patches where people raise vegetables and flowers. These garden patches are called Schrebergärten. The word is plural; singular is Schrebergarten. I know, it is a difficult language. These mini-farms were the brainchild of Herr Doctor Daniel Gottlieb Moritz Schreber, a general practitioner medical doctor in Leipzig in the late 19th Century. Dr. Schreber was interested in children's health and through articles he wrote on of child psychology he promoted outdoor exercise and activities for children such as gardening.

An acquaintance founded the Schreber Association, a gardening club for children. The gardens they created came to be called Schrebergärten. The club took root and grew to many thousands of followers. Unfortunately, during the 1930's it, like all clubs for youth at the time, was absorbed into the Hitler Youth, which was disbanded when Hitler left the scene. Nevertheless, Dr. Schreber's main legacy is with us today. In Berlin alone, there are over 83,000 individual gardens in more than 10,000 garden communities or Schrebergärten.

Today, these Schrebergärten are as much recreational property for city dwellers as they are necessary gardens. It gives you a chance to leave your high-rise condominium and get in touch with your agrarian beginnings. Good stress therapy in a modern society. I have seen Schrebergärten that are so built up with garden houses, lawn ornaments, patios, and water features that I know that the main purpose is not to garden but to relax and entertain friends.

A note about the good Dr. Schreber: Some believe that he is linked inextricably to a form of child rearing that might be characterized today as child abuse. Abused children can grow up to be villainous. Enough said - but one can investigate this further on the Internet if one is so inclined.

More about biking in Germany can be found in these pages:

• German Laws • German Culture • German Food & Drink • Miscellaneous •

Revised: June 26, 2009